


to win the race, a prettier face

by stefonzolesky



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/F, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, it's barely there, ryan and kelly r my favorite lesbians, there's implied andy/oscar if u squint but. u rly gotta squint to see it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 06:28:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14538672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: “You're the girlfriend,” Dwight tells her once the door is shut, all snobby and matter-of-fact.





	to win the race, a prettier face

Ryan Howard considers herself a pretty nonchalant person, overall. She doesn’t like to make a big deal out of things that shouldn’t be made a big deal of.

Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t view ‘hey, my girlfriend still thinks that she’s dating a guy, and will probably continue to think this for the remainder of our relationship, however long that may be,’ as a big deal at all.

Kelly talks her ear off, but Ryan tunes her out as she focuses on readjusting the pair of suspenders she found buried in her dresser the night before and wore to work in sort of a, ‘hey, what the hell?’ moment.

Kelly stops in the middle of her sentence, eyeballing Ryan’s suspenders incredulously.

“Suspenders, Ryan?” She says, and Ryan freezes as she realizes that Kelly has finally clocked her entire outfit. “You are becoming more and more untameable by the day. If you’re gonna continue to be my boyfriend, we’re gonna have to fix this.”

And in her next ‘what the hell?’ moment of that day, Ryan Howard decides to say, “girlfriend,” and leave the annex. Obviously, there are at least three ways the average person could understand that single word, but it’s Kelly, so there has to be no less than thirty different interpretations running through her head at that moment. She’s likely overreacting about the entire situation.

 

Using her expertise in the matter, and also the space underneath Andy’s desk, Ryan manages to avoid her girlfriend for the rest of the day. Andy asks minimal questions, but sings ‘Bye Bye Bye’ for about an hour in an attempt to keep his own mouth shut.

Kelly doesn’t stay in the annex. In fact, she enters Andy’s office six separate times and demands to know where Ryan is. Andy tells her “outside, bathroom, went home, annex, at reception, eating lunch,” and bursts into song again. Ryan can’t see Kelly, but is sure that she’s on the case.

 

“You’re really bad at keeping secrets,” Ryan says to Andy as she crawls out from under his desk once she’s completely sure that Kelly has headed home for the day.

Andy rolls his eyes, smiling tightly. “Well, I did it, didn’t I?” He pauses. “Why were you hiding from her, anyway?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Ryan says, brushing off her pants. “I’ve gotta head home.”

“Alright.” Andy presses his lips together in a thin line, obviously kind of frustrated with the secret keeping. “See you tomorrow, Ryan.”

 

Ryan hardly has time to settle at home when Kelly knocks on her door, soaked from the rain.

“I am _not_ a lesbian,” is the first thing she says once Ryan opens the door.

Ryan shrugs, says, “Alright, bye,” and tries to shut the door in Kelly’s face.

“Ryan,” Kelly whines, stopping the door with both of her hands and all of her weight. “At least offer for me to come inside. It’s _pouring.”_

“Fine,” Ryan caves, responding semi-sarcastically in her own typical Ryan Howard fashion. “Kelly Kapoor, would you like to drag your soaked self inside of my pristine--”

“--Yes.” Kelly interrupts, pushing past Ryan. “And I’d like to borrow some clothes, too, if you don’t mind.”

“I do mind,” Ryan tries to say, but Kelly is already sifting through her closet. “Why are you here, anyway?”

Kelly scoffs. “Like you don’t know.” She pulls her wet shirt over her head and drops it to the ground, opting for one of Ryan’s sweaters, and looks over her shoulder. “Girlfriend.”

Ryan sighs. “Babe, you have promise me you won’t make this a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

“You know me,” Kelly says, and it isn’t all that reassuring. Ryan stares at her.

“Promise me you won’t make this a bigger deal than it needs to be,” She repeats.

Kelly groans. “Fine. I promise. Can we talk about it now?”

So Ryan agrees to talk about it, for the first time in her fucking miserable life. She sits down on the bed, across from Kelly.

 

At one point, Kelly tugs the sleeves of her beige sweater and says, “Girl, we have _got_ to get you some new clothes.”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” Ryan asks. Her eyebrows furrow.

“They don’t exactly scream _girl,_ ” Kelly explains. “Also, they’re fucking gross.”

“I like my clothes,” Ryan insists. “This is exactly one of the things I knew you would make a big deal about.”

“What, your clothes?” Kelly asks, incredulous, her voice full of _‘well, I never!’_

Ryan groans. “Yes, my clothes. I like my clothes. I buy them myself. If I wanted to wear something else, I wouldn’t waste my money.”

“Bullshit,” Kelly calls, but Ryan knows that Kelly knows she isn’t kidding. “Fine. We won’t talk about your clothes. I still think they’re gross, though, and if you would just wear, like…  a pencil skirt, or something, you could get that whole business-chic--”

“Kelly, stop talking,” Ryan insists. She pauses. “You’re really fine with this?”

Kelly shrugs. “Yeah. I mean, it’s whatever. Can I stay here? I almost wrecked on the way over, because of the rain.”

Ryan sighs and rubs her temples. “Yeah, fine, whatever.”

 

One day, about a month later, Jim and Pam show up late. Pam makes it a point to try and never show up late, so obviously, Erin asks questions like “Where were you?” and “Are you sick? Because if you’re sick, I can’t let you in here.”

“I’m not sick,” Pam promises. “Jim and I got caught up with our hotel.”

“Hotel?” Dwight asks. “Why were you staying at a hotel?”

“My sister, Larissa, got married,” Jim explains, pulling out his phone. “We got a babysitter and stayed the night at the hotel near where the wedding was.”

“Prove it,” Dwight says, because he always needs proof for everything. Kelly inches closer to Jim, having been drawn out of the annex upon hearing talk about weddings. “Do you have pictures?”

“Please say you have pictures,” Kelly mutters. Ryan sighs behind her, exasperated, and follows her just to make sure that no wedding plans are made. Of course, she believes that Kelly would at least ask before making wedding plans, but there’s really no way to be sure of that.

 

There's a good bit of time spent looking at pictures, and Ryan tunes out most of the talk, aside from the inevitable ‘Kelly-Kapoor-yapping-in-her-ear’ time and Angela realizing that Jim’s sister is a lesbian.

She blinks back into the conversation.

“Gay guys are fine,” Angela says, with a pointed look towards Oscar. “But lesbians are… sexual deviants. They’re repulsive.”

Kelly smiles sweetly. “And why’s that?” She asks, nothing but curiosity in her tone. Ryan winces. “What if _I_ was a lesbian, Angela?” She continues, her voice growing more threatening by the second. “I’m not, obviously. I have a boyfriend,” She gestures to Ryan, who takes a step back so that she isn’t dragged into the argument. “But what would you say to that?”

“It’s the truth,” Angela insists. “If you were a lesbian, I would say you were just faking it.” She points at Ryan. “To make him jealous.”

Kelly glances over her shoulder at Ryan.

“Ryan,” She says, her voice desperate. “I have to--“ She cuts herself off when Ryan shrugs, and looks Angela dead in the eyes. “I have a girlfriend.”

Angela’s jaw drops. “Aren’t you dating Ryan?”

Kelly glances back at Ryan again, who subtly gestures ‘you’re dead,’ or ‘cut it off,’ or whatever, so Kelly shrugs and just reiterates, “I have a girlfriend.”

Oscar is the first person to say something about it. “That’s great, Kelly.” He grins. “Tell us about her.”

“Uh,” Kelly drawls. Angela is fuming. “I can’t, really.” She spares a desperate glance around the room, to cover up yet another look at Ryan. “She kind of works here, and I don’t know if I’m supposed to say anything about it.”

“Well, now you have to.”

Ryan jumps when Dwight speaks, and she supposes that he was drawn closer by the idea of solving a puzzle, or some shit. People in this office just have certain callings. It blows Ryan’s mind a lot of the time.

Kelly sighs dramatically. “I really can’t,” She reiterates. “I have to at least talk to her about it first.”

“You must really love this girlfriend of yours,” Ryan says, as a precaution. Just to keep herself out of the running.

“Yeah.” Kelly smiles. “I do.”

 

Most of that day is spent in the annex, Ryan facing the wall and Kelly saying over and over again, “Please, Ryan, please? Please let me shove it in her face? Please?” and Ryan insisting that they shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

“If they figure it out, they figure it out,” She says, finally turning to face her girlfriend. “Let’s just leave it at that.”

Kelly slumps in her chair. “Fine. Once people start to figure it out, I’m totally rubbing it in Angela’s face.”

“Once people start to figure it out, Angela will probably rub it in her own face,” Ryan mutters. Kelly’s eyebrows furrow.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” She says. Ryan just shrugs.

 

Later on in the day, Dwight seeks Ryan out. He pulls her from the annex to the conference room, and Ryan has learned not to protest against Dwight, only sending a desperate look to Kelly, who shrugs and mouths the words ‘if they figure it out, they figure it out.’

“You're the girlfriend,” He tells her once the door is shut, all snobby and matter-of-fact.

Ryan shrugs. “What makes you say that?”

Dwight stares at her. “The only other person it could be is Pam. But Pam is easy to drill, she caves easily. Unless she's a really good liar, she's not cheating on Jim with Kelly.”

Ryan perks up at that. “You really think Pam would cheat on Jim with a girl?”

“No,” Dwight says with a roll of his eyes. “Not anymore, at least.” He pauses. “The point is, Kelly wouldn't go near any of the girls in this office like that, save Pam, which I've already explained. That leaves everyone else. It's obviously not me--”

“It could be,” Ryan cuts him off. “And you're just trying to throw me off. I mean, my girlfriend _has_ been dating some girl. I have a right to know who it is.”

“It's you, Ryan.” Dwight sounds bored. “Kelly even had to check with you before she said that she had a girlfriend. I didn't think too much of it at first, but that was definitely the tipping point.”

Ryan shrugs again and says with a laugh, “Yeah, it's definitely me. Unless there's some _other_ girl I don't know about. Which would kind of be awesome.”

Dwight rolls his eyes. “You’re a mess,” He says, but he’s clearly giddy at having gotten to the end of Kelly’s “treasure hunt,” as he had put it earlier. “Am I allowed to tell everyone that I figured it out?”

“No--” Ryan starts to say, but Dwight is already out of the conference room and yelling about how he “solved the riddle” and everyone should bow down to him.

“How did you find out?” Angela asks, trying to seem full of innocent curiosity rather than malicious intent. Dwight pauses, because he obviously hasn’t thought this far, and then points a finger in Ryan’s direction.

“I figured it out in my own classic Schrute ways, and then got Ryan to confirm,” He says, and Ryan retreats from the doorway of the conference room and starts to shut it slowly as all eyes land on her.

Angela stands up from her chair and starts to make her way over to the conference room, along with Andy and Creed, for some fucking reason. Ryan sighs and opens the door again (as Oscar says something like, “You guys, just mind your own business,”) and resigns herself of a life of divulging all of her secrets to these people, in this office, forever.

Kelly quickly files into the room, a dumb grin on her lips as she surveys the people that are already sitting down and watching impatiently. She pokes her head out the door and says, “Come on, you guys, Ryan is gonna tell everyone who my girlfriend is!”

Oscar, who tries to seem high-and-mighty all the time, has even made his way towards the room. Ryan rubs her temples. “Is that everyone?” She asks. “I mean, is this all the people who care? Because you guys are--” She laughs, desperate, “-- _really_ making this a much bigger deal than it has to be.”

Kelly wraps herself around Ryan’s arm like a sloth, or something. “Babe, just tell them.”

“She’s still dating Ryan,” Angela points out, looking fed up. “I told you guys, she’s just faking it.”

“I never said I wasn’t dating Ryan,” Kelly reasons. She clings tighter to Ryan’s arm. “And I never said I don’t like boys. I just said I have a girlfriend. I’m dating Ryan, _and_ Channing Tatum could fuck me up any day.”

“Kelly,” Ryan says to her, voice hushed. “Stay on track. Stop thinking about Channing Tatum.”

“Sorry,” Kelly whispers back. “Once I get there, it’s hard to stop.”

Pam raises her hand.

“Yes, Pam?” Kelly says, then speaks to the group. “See, we should all try to be more respectful, like Pam.” She throws a pointed glance towards Angela.

“Uh, yeah.” Pam brings her arm down. “Is your relationship monogamous?”

“Obviously not,” Angela whines exasperatedly at the same time Kelly proudly says “Yes.” Ryan sucks in a breath through her teeth.

“Alright,” Pam says. “That pretty much gives it all away.”

“You’ve lost all your suspense, Ryan,” Jim picks up jokingly. “There’s no point anymore. We all might as well just, go home. Before you even say it.”

Oscar mumbles something that sounds vaguely like “I should have known,” Meredith shrugs, and Kevin announces loudly, “I don’t know what you all are talking about.”

“Oh, Ryan’s my girlfriend,” Kelly tells Kevin in a ‘duh’ sort of way. She clings tighter to Ryan, who pulls her into a rough kiss. Angela sighs, upset, and storms out of the room.

Andy is the last person to file out of the conference room. He puts a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, says, “Good for you,” and smiles.

 

It’s been three months since Ryan has cheated on Kelly, which has got to be, like, a world record or something. They still fight, and every once in a while they break up for an hour or two, but Ryan has not felt the need to cheat on her even once.

“Do you want me to hit Angela?” Kelly asks one night, when she’s clinging to Ryan as they watch late night TV. “Because I’ll hit her.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ryan says. “I mean, if the time comes, sure, go fucking nuts. But I’ve told you that it doesn’t really matter to me.”

Kelly props herself up to look at Ryan’s face. “You say that, but I don’t think you mean it.”

Ryan sighs. “Kelly,” She starts. “Kelly, you know me. You know that I don’t care. Like, at all.”

There’s a moment of silence between them, and then Kelly says, “I’m coming back over tomorrow morning,” very matter-of-factly, “and you’re letting me choose what you wear, because you’re, like, the most boring lesbian I’ve ever met.”

“Kelly--” Ryan tries to protest.

Kelly shakes her head. “It’s happening. Just trust me. You have no say in this.”

 

And she really doesn’t. Kelly makes true on her promise and shows up at Ryan’s at five-thirty in the fucking morning.

“Are you some sort of lunatic?” Ryan asks, rubbing her eyes. She’s sure she looks insane, her hair sticking up in all directions because she _just woke up._

“I told you I’d be here,” Kelly reminds her. “I told you that you have no say in this.”

Ryan sighs and rubs her temples. “Yes, Kelly, I’m aware. But it’s fuck o’clock in the morning, okay? And I’m _tired.”_

“You won’t even have to do anything,” Kelly promises. “I’ve got this. Babe, just trust me.”

“Fine,” Ryan caves, because she knows that there’s never any stopping Kelly once she’s in action. “Just… get it over with.”

“Great.” Kelly grins. She pushes her way inside and shuts the door behind her, throwing a bag down on Ryan’s bed. “I brought some clothes with me, but I don’t know what will work.” She pulls a smaller bag from inside that bag. “And makeup, because I know you don’t have anything against letting me do your makeup.”

Kelly, obviously, is right about that. Ryan actually enjoys wearing makeup. She just never bothers, because it takes too much time and looks kind of odd with her work clothes.

“You trust me, don’t you?” Kelly starts to dig through the bag, pulling out one thing after the other.

“Kind of,” Ryan admits. She rubs her eyes. “Listen, Kelly, I’m really tired--”

“No, yeah, I get it,” Kelly says. She tosses a loosely cut button-up at Ryan, who catches it weakly. “Put this on. It’s long, you have to, like… tuck it into the skirt.”

“I know how clothes work, babe,” Ryan insists, lazily pulling off her sleep shirt and tugging the button-up over her shoulders. It’s surprisingly soft, but looks like jeans. Stuff like that kind of throws her off.

As soon as it’s buttoned up, Kelly grins. “Better than I thought.”

“You’re really having me wear a skirt?” Ryan raises an eyebrow. She yawns softly.

“Oh, yeah, definitely.” Kelly nods, throwing a high-waisted yellow skirt at her girlfriend. “Why do you have so much against them, anyway?”

Ryan shrugs. “Not my style?”

“How would you know?” Kelly presses. “Just… try it on. For me?”

“Fine,” Ryan caves. “I’ll do it for you.”

Kelly grins wider, pressing a quick kiss to Ryan’s lips. “You’re the best.”

 

It takes Kelly a full hour to get Ryan looking the way she wants, but this is the first time she’s actually had an idea about what she’s doing before going full-force at Ryan’s face. Ryan quickly discovers that she does _not_ despise skirts as much as she had originally thought.

“I _so_ wanna kiss you right now, but it’ll mess up your lipstick,” Kelly says quietly as they enter the office.

“Later,” Ryan promises. Kelly nods, elated.

 

Andy calls a meeting, and it’s during that meeting that Ryan receives her third, “Ryan! You look so good!” of the day. She obviously knows this, but it doesn’t hurt for people to reiterate the idea.  
Angela scoffs.

“Are we really pretending that he can pull this off?” She asks, incredulous.

“Shut up, Angela,” Kelly hisses through gritted teeth.

Ryan shakes her head. “No, babe, she's right.” She places a hand on Kelly’s thigh. “I can just do my own makeup next time.”

Kelly scrunches up her nose, obviously frustrated, but she can tell that Ryan wants the subject dropped so she doesn't say anything.

 

The meeting goes relatively smooth, or, as smooth as a Dunder Mifflin meeting can go. Andy proposes some “new” plan with two teams, but Ryan doesn't pay too much attention until she's dragged into it.

“Ryan is in charge of one, Dwight is in charge of the other,” Andy explains. “Ryan’s team will be Kelly, Angela, Oscar, Jim and Pam. You all have to listen to what she thinks is best.” He points everyone out as he says their names. “Everyone else goes with Dwight. Listen to whatever he says.”

Darryl raises a hand. “ _Whatever_ he says?”

“Right.” Andy grimaces. “Probably a bad plan. Darryl, you reserve the right to veto Dwight if things get bad. Jim, you can veto Ryan.”

“Why not a girl?” Kelly says, sitting up a little straighter. “I think it's anti-feminist of you to give a man, especially a man like Jim, the power to veto a girl in charge.”

“Why especially a man like me?” Jim asks, at the same time that Angela insists, “Ryan _is_ a man.”

“Kelly,” Ryan says quietly. “Not everything is an issue. Don't make everything into an issue.”

“I can make things into an issue if I want to,” Kelly insists. “Andy, I should be able to veto Ryan instead.”

Andy grimaces. “I'm sticking with Jim,” He says apologetically, but when Kelly starts to get huffy, he adds, “but, Jim should consult you before making any decisions.”

“I think you're all making this way more complicated than it needs to be,” Oscar tells Andy. Andy sighs and eyes him in a way that says something like 'I’m just trying to make everyone happy.’

 

Andy’s plan inevitably fails, and he blames it on the fact that nobody paid attention to his instructions -- though, he could have corrected anything that had gone wrong in Ryan’s group, considering he stopped by every ten minutes to make excuses to talk to Oscar. She points this out, but Andy just ignores her and blames it on a “group letdown.”

 

Honestly, Ryan doesn’t even fucking know why she’s working at this office anymore. Everyone treats her either like she’s insane or she’s porcelain, save Kelly, who complains just enough to make her feel human.

 

Back in the conference room, Andy asks everyone “where things went wrong.”

Angela glances at Ryan, who is only separated from sitting next to her by Kelly, and says, “I can't work with Ryan. I can't listen to his instruction when he's being… effeminate and ridiculous. It's distracting, and frankly, quite embarrassing.”

Before anyone else can stand up for Ryan, or before Ryan can even stand up for herself, Kelly has turned and punched Angela right in the fucking nose.

“Kelly!” Ryan yelps without thinking, and Oscar jumps upon impact from the other side of Angela.

“Sorry!” Kelly shouts, her head whipping to look at Ryan. “It’s not my fault that Angela is a bitch!”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Andy says, obviously not well equipped for the situation. “Kelly, Angela. My office. Now.” He pauses. “Everyone else, get back to work.”

 

Kelly gets suspended from work without pay for a week, and spends that entire time in Ryan’s apartment while she’s at the office. Things run… smoothly, and Angela is too scared to badmouth Ryan with the black and blue evidence of Kelly’s blow-up still circling her nose.

 

Kelly comes back at the beginning of the next week, and she looks utterly _terrified._ She pushes past every person who asks her what’s wrong as she heads to the annex and blurts, “Code red,” as soon as she’s within Ryan’s earshot.

“What?” Ryan jumps up from her seat. “Are you serious? How is he getting here so fast? _Why_ is he getting here so fast?”

“I don’t--” Kelly starts to say, and then she frowns, suddenly looking meek. “Think of it this way. If he does anything horrible, you’ll probably get paid vacation like Oscar did.”

“Kelly,” Ryan says, voice dangerously steady. “What did you do? Why is Michael coming back to Scranton?”

“I love you,” Kelly squeaks out. “You have an hour to prepare.”

“Kelly, what did you do?” Ryan demands to know. “What did you say to him that made him feel like he should come back?”

“I dropped that I had been staying with you yesterday,” Kelly says slowly. “I may have texted him the words, ‘Ryan has been letting me stay with her.’”

“Oh my --” Ryan sighs heavily, running her hands down her face. “I didn’t tell him for a reason.”

“I know!” Kelly throws her hands up. “It was an accident! I meant to tell you last night, but I got distracted, and you were wearing--” She clocks Kevin listening in on their conversation just in time, cutting herself off. “You know what happened, I don’t have to tell you. I got carried away!”

Ryan pinches the bridge of her nose. “Yeah, babe.” She sighs heavily. “I know. I’m gonna… Do you think it’s weak of me to hide? Or should I tough it out?”

“You hid from me,” Kelly points out. “Then again, that was months ago.”

Ryan contemplates her options for a moment, weighing them out. Kelly tries to gauge her emotions but evidently comes up with nothing until Ryan says, “Okay, here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m not gonna leave the annex, except to, like, go to the bathroom. Obviously. Kelly, I have a job for you.”

“Anything,” Kelly says quickly, eager to right her wrong. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make you not mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Ryan promises, “but you _do_ need to fix this. Get Oscar to help, he’s good at this sort of thing. Tell everyone out there to act like it’s always been this way. Tell them not to be super sensitive to me now that Michael is around. Like… it’s just something he missed, in all the years we worked together.” She places her hands lightly on Kelly’s shoulders to pull her focus. “Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah.” Kelly nods quickly, pulling Ryan into a kiss. They break apart quickly. Kelly’s nose brushes against hers. “Michael will be _so_ confused.”

“Maybe he just won’t say anything about it,” Ryan mutters. “I mean, if I’m lucky.” She wipes her mouth on the back of her hand. “I’m gonna go fix my makeup.”

 

Michael Scott enters the office with a bang, and the first thing he demands is that he is able to, “See Ryan Howard, that little sunovabitch!”

“I think she’s in the bathroom,” Pam says, pushing out of her chair to run and give Michael a hug. “It’s great to see you again.”

“Yeah, Pam, you too,” The words come out in a rush as he gives Pam a light hug, then pushes her back by her shoulders, “but I need to see Ryan.”

“She likes to take her time,” Erin adds from behind Michael. Michael turns to face her. “Usually her and Kelly are making out on the sinks.” Her voice goes hushed. “It’s… frightening. They don’t even do any work here, really, just kissing. I don’t know why Andy hasn’t fired them yet.”

“I think Andy’s scared of them,” Dwight says without looking up from his computer. “Ryan and Kelly combined are a nearly unstoppable force. After Kelly hit Angela to defend Ryan, I think that Andy is terrified of the entire concept of lesbians. I have a newfound respect for them.”

Michael is growing more and more frustrated by the second, and Ryan realizes that she and Kelly should probably stop making out on the sink when she hears Pam _loudly_ say, “Michael, do _not_ go into the girl’s bathroom!”

Ryan pushes Kelly a few steps away so she can jump down from the ledge, says quietly, “You brought this on me,” and heads out of the bathroom with her head held high. Kelly trails a few paces behind her.

Michael is most definitely on his way to enter the girl's bathroom when they cross paths and he stops, the first words out of his mouth, “Ryan! You're wearing a skirt!”

Ryan forces a tight grin. “Yeah!” She laughs. “I _totally_ am.”

“Y'know, stuff like this--” Michael gestures vaguely. “It's hot. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

Ryan hesitates. “Michael, I still like girls. I'm still dating Kelly. Just because I _am_ a girl, doesn’t mean I like boys.”

“Right.” Michael laughs awkwardly. “Weird.”

“God forbid you point that out,” Angela complains, frustration leaking into her tone. “Kelly will punch you in the face if you talk about her boyfriend's abnormalities.”

“Angela.” Oscar's voice is hushed. “We talked about this.”

“Right.” Angela frowns, then adding on a reluctant, “Sorry, Ryan.”

“It’s fine,” Ryan says, and it’s flat because she’s pouring all of her energy into figuring out how to get Michael to leave.

“Why don’t you just stay a boy?” Michael says, and it’s obvious that he hasn’t thought out the question. “Why be a lesbian? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s totally hot. But why?”

Ryan sighs. Her head is starting to hurt. Kelly moves forward and clings to her arm.

“That isn’t how it works,” Kelly says.

Ryan frowns. “Kelly, babe, I’ve got this. Alright?”

“Ryan--” Kelly starts to complain. Ryan presses a finger to her lips, which shuts her up quickly.

After a second, Ryan shrugs. “I mean, she’s right. That’s not how it works. Did you really have to come all the way back to Scranton to have this conversation with me? You have my cell number.”

“You wouldn’t have answered,” Michael accuses, and fuck, he’s totally right. Ryan would have never in a million years answered that phone call. She opens her mouth to object anyway, but falls short.

“It’s not a big deal, Michael,” Kelly takes over. “You don’t need to make it such a big deal.”

“You’re one to talk,” Angela quips at that, desperately trying to be a part of the conversation.. “You paraded him around at first.”

Oscar frowns and quietly corrects, “Her,” and Angela echoes, “Her,” and then, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Ryan says quickly, and Kelly mouths, ‘it wasn’t fine,’ over her shoulder, and Ryan’s head is starting to fucking pound.

“Andy?” She asks loudly, trying to maneuver around Michael. “I’m feeling kind of under the weather. Can I go home early? Andy?”

She’s tuning Michael out, while he says whatever he can to keep her from walking away, but she powers through to Andy’s office.

 

In the end, Michael ends up locked out of Andy’s office while Andy lets Ryan go home early, but does not let Kelly leave too, even though she insists that Ryan needs to be taken care of.

(“She is a grown woman, Kelly,” He had said. “She doesn’t need you to take care of her.”)

 

Work becomes more enjoyable for Ryan, the longer she and Kelly stay together consecutively. Which is weird, because that was never how it used to be.

She feels like she can breathe, like, immediately after Michael leaves Scranton. He means well, but the man is fucking insufferable in large amounts. Ryan can handle maybe two phone calls per week. That’s the capper.

 

Ryan loves Kelly. There’s never been a single doubt about that. The doubt was always found in the commitment aspect of a relationship, the thought of ‘maybe I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl, and I really, _really_ don’t know how to deal with that.’

She likes the way that Kelly treats her, though. Like she’s beautiful. She pushes Ryan against the desks, knocking over stacks of files, and kisses her breathless. Ryan has never enjoyed feeling delicate so much in her life.

And yeah, maybe it was the repression, but she thinks that Kelly might be bringing out the best in her recently. Kelly doesn't butter her up with, “you look so pretty!” like people do around the office. Kelly doesn't need to, because she makes Ryan believe it anyway.

She doesn't feel like she has to prove herself to anyone. Except Kelly.

 

“I know you hate it when I talk about marriage,” Kelly starts.

It takes all of her energy to keep an audible groan from escaping Ryan's mouth. “Kelly…”

“I know!” Kelly laughs, a bashful smile on her lips. “I know. I just love you a lot, and--”

“-- I'm sorry,” Ryan can't help but interrupt. She frowns, taking Kelly’s face in her hands. “I know how you feel about marriage, I promise you. And -- maybe one day? Alright? If we can stick together long enough. But there’s just so much out there for me to see.”

“I know.” Kelly’s tongue darts out to wet her lip.

Ryan releases Kelly’s face, and suddenly she’s kind of sad _,_ and it’s weird, but she knows that this is bad. When she’s sad, she’s _sad_. “Recently, I’ve felt like I’ve seen it all, even though I know I haven’t.”

“We could travel?” Kelly proposes. “There’s not all that much to see in Scranton, and I don’t think there ever will be.”

“Maybe.” Ryan’s voice is flat. Her fingers find her eyes, quickly wiping away the tears that are starting to fill them like maybe eliminating the evidence of them will keep them from ever being there.

“Babe…” Kelly frowns. “Do you want me to talk to Andy? He’s too scared of fucking up to _not_ let you leave early.”

Ryan laughs, and it’s kind of desperate. “I can’t just _leave_ whenever things inconvenience me, that’s not how life works. And I don’t want Andy to let me leave just because he’s scared of offending me, or whatever. Everyone treats me so differently, and I _don’t like it.”_

And _God fucking damn it,_ Ryan hates being upset. She _hates_ it. She tries to tough it out, though, and act like she isn’t, even though she obviously is, because the last thing she wants from anyone is pity.

Kelly, luckily, does not say anything else. Instead she gets out her phone and, while she’s typing, makes her way towards Andy’s office. Ryan is too out of energy to stop her.

 

She’s gone for, like, half an hour, but she comes back with a bang.

 

“Don’t by anything expensive and stupid in the next week and a half,” She says, taking a seat on the desk Ryan is sitting at. “Like that hundred dollar hair gel you bought last month.”

“Hey,” Ryan frowns. “That hair gel was fucking _awesome.”_

“It smelled like burning rubber,” Kelly points out. “It sucked. But that’s not my point. The point is, don’t spend all your money like an idiot, because Andy gave the two of us a week off at the end of the month, so we can go on vacation. I told him you were stressed, and then refused to leave his office until he let me have the week off, too.”

“You’re all take-charge,” Ryan says. She’s not as upset now that she’s had some time to cool down, and Kelly was smart -- this is definitely going to help her.

Kelly just laughs and kisses her, and Ryan breathes out, “Thank you,” quiet against her lips.

 

The vacation is not at all what Ryan expects it to be.

She and Kelly get on a plane from Pennsylvania to Florida and then from Florida to the Hawaiian islands, and Kelly actually lets Ryan fall asleep on the plane rather than talking her ear off about how excited she is.

When they actually land, though, Kelly explodes -- yapping the entire drive to their hotel about one thing or another and how fucking excited she is, holy _shit._

“I’m sure it’ll be great,” Ryan says. “You don’t need to keep telling me that. I believed you the first time.”

“Have you ever been to Hawaii?” Kelly asks.

Ryan shakes her head. “No, I haven’t, but you’re making me less excited to spend the week with you.”

Kelly slips her arms around Ryan’s, clinging like they might get seperated. “I’m sorry. I just want this to be fun.”

“It will be,” Ryan promises. “You don’t have to worry about it.”

There’s a silence, and Ryan decides to take a chance.

“I’m just glad I get to spend some time with you, away from everyone,” She says.

Kelly looks shell-shocked.

“You’ve never said anything like that before,” She points out. “Do you really mean it?”

“Of course I do,” Ryan mumbles. “I swear. I’m really glad we’re spending time together, alright? Don’t make me regret saying that.”

“And you’re not gonna run off and cheat on me with some pretty Hawaiian girl?” Kelly asks, as if she’s _just making sure._

Ryan frowns. “If I’m being honest,” She says. “I hadn’t even thought about it.”

 

When the news of Kelly and Ryan’s engagement breaks in the office, Ryan decides that these people really need to mind their own fucking business.

Kelly likes the attention. Ryan likes it when Kelly is happy.

They’d been married before, yeah, but that wasn’t as big of a deal as this. This is a wedding. That was heat of the moment, it hadn’t lasted, and it didn’t mean this much. Ryan decides she should probably think more before she acts, but this time -- this isn’t a mistake.

 

“I’m really happy for you,” Oscar tells her a few days later, once all the chatter about the wedding has died down. Not Kelly’s, of course, because she won’t stop talking about it until months after it’s over.

He sits down next to her, a genuine smile on his face. Oscar isn’t much of a congratulatory person, and he isn’t especially warm towards Ryan, so it means a lot.

“Thanks,” She says, trying to hide her smile in her work.

“There was a window of time,” Oscar continues, which Ryan really doesn’t expect -- she thought the conversation was over, “where I thought Kelly would keep running back to you, and I hated it.”

Ryan’s head bobs up and down as she chews on her lower lip. “Thanks, Oscar.”

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re… fine, or whatever,” He says.

Sarcasm leaks into Ryan’s tone as she echoes herself. “Thanks, Oscar.”

Oscar takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m just glad you were able to find it in yourself to finally commit to her. She really needs you, you know. And it seems like you’ve stopped fucking her over, so I’m happy for you two.”

 

They get married in April.

Half the office doesn’t show, because Kelly’s yakking tired them out, and Michael flies in, much to Ryan’s dismay.

It’s a small wedding. Nothing like Ryan might have expected from Kelly when she left her fiancée in charge of the planning.

It’s nice. That’s the simplest way to put it. The commitment settles around Ryan’s shoulders like a blanket, and she’s suddenly not so scared anymore.


End file.
